There is no set age at which a child should suddenly be required to perform a list of chores. Instead, matching tasks to your child's abilities is something that should be introduced gradually, and most parents will have already been doing it in small ways since their children were one or two. Did you teach your toddler to put her toys back in the box when she'd finished playing with them? You were helping her to develop orientation to task, planning, fine motor and perceptual skills. Even simple tasks such as having your child wipe her face with a napkin can establish the idea that helping is good and promote self care skills.

Preschoolers with younger siblings often have a built-in incentive to help out. If the child's relationship with the new baby is going well, it's natural for the child to want to help care for the baby. He can't change the baby's diaper but he can get a new one. Having him tell you what you need to do next when changing the baby can help to develop planning, sequencing and recall skills. A child feeding her baby sister a few bites of cereal is not only a great photo opportunity it's also a time for bonding between siblings and a valuable learning experience.

When asking your child to help around the house it's important to know your child and his abilities very well. Preschoolers are often unpredictable and still need a lot of interaction in everything they do. There may be days when the child is helpful, independent and confident - yet the next day (or hour, for that matter!) she may behave the opposite way. A preschooler might pick out her clothes and dress herself each morning for weeks and then complain one day that she can't. It's hard to know the difference between a child who is testing the rules and a child who needs help through a rough patch in her life. Help out, but don't make it more fun for the child to avoid the job than it is to do it herself.

If the child resists doing a chore never belittle or punish him. He should help out for the right reasons - a sense of pride and a desire to please. Keep the chores simple and fun. Give him jobs that require a short amount of time and try to find tasks in which the child can understand the value. He may not understand why you want the table dusted or how it can develop his motor planning and gross motor skills, but he will understand why the jelly should be wiped off the kitchen table. Don't expect the job to be done perfectly. Remember, you are not asking for his help because you need it, you are asking for his help because you are teaching him a skill.

One idea to teach the child how to do his job is to "partner" with him. Tell him the bathroom needs to be cleaned and he's your cleaning buddy. You spray, he wipes. You sprinkle the cleanser into the toilet bowl, he scrubs with the brush. You sweep the floor, he holds and empties the dustpan.

The bonus? He gets time with his parent and immediate feedback as well as developing shoulder stability that is necessary for writing.

What sort of chores should your preschooler be able to perform? The possibilities are endless and based on a family's individual lifestyle. Choose things that aren't complicated, potentially dangerous or particularly unpleasant, and tasks that don't need to be done "just right." Keep safety in mind. If the child has to stand on a stool or chair to do the task, make sure it's a supervised activity. Never ask the child to cook something, even if it's just toast, unless you're right beside him.

Help your child to help himself by getting him to:

• Choose appropriate clothing and dress himself, including shoes (with tying laces included as he progresses with his Get Ready for School program).
• Place dirty clothing in hamper and help collect it when it's time to do laundry to develop gross motor skills.
• Brush teeth, wash hands and wipe up any mess in the sink to encourage self care skills.
• Feed pets with dry pet food to develop fine motor skills.
• Set the table with unbreakable items for fine motor development.
• Wash vegetables and fruit, help with simple food preparation to develop visual perception, planning and fine motor skills.
• Clean up after meals or snacks by disposing of trash and placing dishes on the kitchen counter to develop planning and gross motor skills.
• Tidying up toys after play, with help and direction to develop sequencing, planning and task completion.
• Simple yard/garden tasks such as picking up sticks before mowing, watering plants, weeding garden beds helps to encourage gross motor skills.

It may surprise you how little time it takes for your child's contribution to be of real value to both the home and to their development. If the work ethic is taught with love, a preschooler who announces with a bright smile that "I did it myself!" will take on additional responsibilities with confidence in years to come.